Well, I can almost garauntee that I had the slowest car here...

1979 Honda Civic 1200 w/Hondamatic two-speed transmission.

Came from the factory with 53 horsepower. Add a power sucking two-speed semi-automatic transmission (aka no clutch, just push it into 2nd) and you have 0-60 times equal to a DX 1/4-mile! It also came with 145/80/12 mud and snow tires. Best damn snow car I've ever had...I wish I hadn't sold it.