That auto taser is nassssty... the only downside is that last part, "Does it cause damage? Answer: No, it's akin to a static shock, causes thief's arm to involuntarily shake away from the device, will not harm people with heart conditions or pacemakers."...

Well, after one or two involuntary shakes, you're going to have one VERY pissed off thief who will not stop to destroy every piece of your car except the locked steering wheel. I'm sure they would try to short it out with water or something - AND, what if they were wearing gloves, I guess to protect against fingerprints (although what car thieves are really that smart and dedicated?)?

I wish the answer to that question was "YES! The Auto Taser will put any car thief into an instant coma, which only the Krypton-encoded key fob can bring them out of."

or even better "With the patented Islamic Law Upgrade package, a 550K electric shock will instantaneously char the skin of the thief up to the elbow, rendering the arm useless for at least five years - this punishment stems from centuries of arm amputation, legal under religious and civil law!"

Lastly: "The Auto Taser will provide a constant 50,000 volt current, locking the thief's hand to the unit, while simultaneously opening a hidden cage of cobras beneath your seat. After sensing a successful bite, the Auto Taser will entice the cobras back into their cage, and using the Seat Mobilizer to push the stunned and poisoned thief out onto the street. Voila! Your vehicle is intact."

File this under "If it doesn't exist, it SHOULD."