you're asian aren't you? hehehe. my parents said that too (about modified bulbs, about two years ago)...now look at my car...

top 6 inches is totally legal to tint. back three windows are totally legal to tint. and no, most shops will do illegal work for you, but it is your right for them to tell you unless you ordered it out of stupidity and they're too money-hungry to tell you that it's illegal.

the shop that i go to, california tint, will tint all 5 windows plus the banner as dark as you want, but they will tell you what's legal and what's not. they, however, will NOT tint your entire front windshield because they do not want to turn your car into a safety hazard.

and yes, the "i spent a lot on the car and it will take a lot to take it off" works...even the "my friends bought it for me and it's disrespectful not to have it put on" trick works on almost anything (exhausts, bulbs, tint, etc)...