I was just informed that NOBODY reads cover letters anymore. This coming from recruiters, senior recruiters, upper management in technology, finance, etc. Which is how it should be. I believe the resume should be able to sell itself.

Seeing as I have probably written hundreds of cover letters in the past six months, I figure it's time I should have some fun with it. If you're not going to read it, then I'm just gonna start trolling.

I just submitted this one a little while ago:

Dear Employer,

As a professional with over four years experience as a musician, firefighter, and part-time astronaut, I believe my skills are well suited for the Production Coordinator position.

After a year away from the studio, Omation called me back in 2007 to return to the Barnyard franchise as the Layout Coordinator. I am especially skilled at managing people, progress tracking, schedules, shot and asset information, budgets, and telephone/email correspondence with multiple departments and other such parties. My efforts have helped make Back At The Barnyard a Daytime Emmy-winning show.

Attached is my resume, which is located on the underside of a circus magician's hat, next to the purple rabbits. I am excited about discussing possible future employment opportunities, and hope to hear back soon, hopefully over some fine Belgian Waffles and hot cocoa.

Kisses,

Dominic del Castillo

And the attached one right before that.


If I don't get the jobs that I applied for, I can still pursue my lifelong dream of working at BJ's. Then i can really tell people I work for BJ's.