ARGH! My thumb is bloody from hours of pushing different sequences of buttons!

I recently purchased a 2001 Honda Acccord EX 2dr Coupe. It did not come with a remote clicker. I checked trhe VIN and it DID come with factory installed keyless entry. I purchased the remote ($130 at the dealer) but declined an extra $90 to program it since it looked, fairly straight-forward....

...I have tried the many versions of install on the 'net, to no avail.

Is there a way to check if there is something wrong with the car?

The battery on the remote is good, I see a light.

remote is part 7214-S84-A03

Any instructions or secret handshakes would be helpful. Thanks,
kate