No offense man, but your problem lies with a wife that doesn't know how to listen and a crappy dealer. The car is likely fine. Why the hell did your wife run off an have a dealer do the work after you said you'd do it? I'd be pist.

Anyway, come on man, dealers suck, never take your car there unless it's under warranty (and even then....). Truth is, no, it didn't take them four hours. But they've done the work and, unless you haven't paid yet, it's too late. The chance of you going back and complaining about the price and hoping for a partial refund is next to zero. If you haven't paid then you can argue it, but otherwise, you be screwed. Take the loss and live with it.

As far as the engine and tranny mounts; do nothing. If you notice jerking or a pronounced "thud" on acceleration then sure, replace the mounts. At any given time, probably 70% of the cars on the road could use new engine mounts. It doesn't mean they have to be replaced right then, or ever for that matter. My '93 Accord's front engine mount wasn't even there due to 16 years of wear and degredation. But I never felt a thud or noticed any problems so I never replaced it. And it never mattered. Hondas are still high quality, Honda dealers aren't.