If it's a relay issue, it would be the Main Relay, also known as the Fuel Relay or Fuel Injector Relay.

Here's a pic of what it should look like:



Here's what it happens to look like in my civic(not my pic), I recently removed it to re-flow the solder. It's easier than it looks from that pic, though I did cut my hand on the dash h: Yours is in a different spot, but this should give you an idea of what to look for.



There's more info and larger pics at http://www.tegger.com/hondafaq/mainrelay.html and that site links to others, though no pics for your specific car that I'm aware of.

It's possible that those symptoms could be caused by other things, such as the ignitor, ignition coil, and others. There are ways to test most all likely causes, most of which are fairly easy if you've got a repair manual and a volt/ohm meter.