Most difficult?

Hmm there have been a few but I guess the most difficult was waking up after sleeping for a day after coming off of a week long bender filled with coke, speed, weed and booze in borderline suicidal amounts. when I woke up I sat there and had a moment of clarity which was kind of scary, the realization was:

I had dropped 50+ pounds in less than 5 months
I was dead broke
I had been to the hospital twice due to "overdose"
I didn't want to die but I didn't want to be sober

The difficult part of this was that I had to want to live at that point or continue on and end up dead in a short period of time (guessing 6 months more possibly). So I got my shit together and left the town, state and all the people I knew at that point and never told anyone where I was going.

The next year was spent getting and staying off powder drugs which I wouldn't say was all that easy and involved one relapse. Luckily though I have been clean from hard drugs since and only occassionally do I smoke weed and only socially do I drink.