For the past several months I get this sharp pain in my head, as if it's between an anvil. I now notice there's a small bulge on the right side of my head opposed to my left. I hope it's not a tumor or some gay shit.

we all have random bulges in our head. its our skull. i'm not a doctor or anything, but can tumors make your skull "bulge"?
i'm sure you're fine.
let us know how it goes
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2016 BMW 340i M-Sport / 2013 Chevrolet Volt / 1999 Subaru Impreza RS EJ205