everything you wrote here is exactly what it was happening to me and I was just told by the transmission shop that I will need a new differential, a few electronics like solenoid and a bunch of other things including rebuild tranny and torque converter of course. the price just went up to $2,300 and my car should be ready by Friday afternoon.

if u dont want to spend the money on a new car then be ready to spend $3,000 the most or $4-5G at the dealer.
I personally would have just drop a used $300 tranny and sell the car as is and buy myself a new accord or civic but I just got married and I am buying a house so I will need to keep my accord for a bit longer.
btw I change the tranny fluid,flush and all that but it did little if any.



[QUOTE=IkeRay;3205420]i did some searches, but most are that they shift hard. my problem is that the car does not shift when warm. if it has been sitting for a while, its fine, but as soon as i drive for 20 minutes or so, it starts. its a slow problem, first its a long delay to shift from 2 to 3, and then it keeps slipping out of third unless i move the shifter into 3rd. then, i lose 4th gear altogether and 3rd starts slipping more and more (stop and go, if i'm in 4th driving on the freeway, its fine). then, it wont even run in gear, it sits in like a neutral gear, no matter what position the shifter is in. it has progressively gotten worse over the past 2 weeks.