Chuck Norris once farted so hard that the person behind him went through three trees, two Mercedes, a telephone poll, and Fort Knox. Amazingly, he survived. His name was Christopher Reeve.

Chuck Norris can kill you just by thinking about you. When people die suddenly in their sleep, the medical term is "DBN" (Death By Norris).

When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris has a mullet, laugh about it, he fucking dares you