for the shifter if its stock the bushing are prob shot, another thing to check out is the pin that connects the shift linkage to the trans, if that is worn even a little the will throw the shifter way off. On the marking, look on the trans and it should say S20, That is the code for ex/si. For the grinding replace the fuild with honda trans fluid, and if that doesn't work then it most likely will be the syncros. HIH