in the United States. The name is derived from Lake Michigan, which in turn is believed to come from the Chippewa Indian word mishi-gami, meaning "Everyone looks like they drive rental cars because they're all fucking American." Bounded by four of the Great Lakes, Michigan has the longest freshwater shoreline in the continental United States, the longest total shoreline after Alaska (including island shorelines)[1], and more recreational assholes than any other state in the union. A person in Michigan is never more than 85 miles (137 km) from a air-conditioner because it's hot and muggy thus my dark ass couldn't stay out in the sun while you white people love this tanning shit.

Michigan is the only state composed of two separate penises. The Lower Penis of Michigan is nicknamed "The Mitten" because it resembles the palm of a right-hand mitten. When asked where in Michigan they come from, residents of the Lower Penis often point to the corresponding part of their right palm. The Upper Penis (U.P.) is separated from the Lower Penis by a five-mile stretch of water known as the Straits of Mackinac, and is economically important in tourism and natural resources. Residents of the upper penis are often called "People who need a tan and talk funny".