First thank you all for your advice!

I ruled out the main relay since a) I couldn’t find it, and b) it seemed to me that when that particular part is malfunctioning the not starting thing is intermittent. Seriously considered tearing apart the starter, but decided against it because I had a starter problem in my old CL and this was nothing like what happened to that car.
Boyfriend saw me leave the house with scissors and a beer while mumbling about there being to many freaking wires under there, came out immediately. He thought it might be the alarm. After setting it off numerous times (poor neighbors) we got it unplugged. No luck there, and now that he was assured I wasn’t planning on slicing and dicing wires he went off to snooze in the hammock.
After a great deal of searching, both in the car and online, I found what I thought just might be the neutral safety switch. It had 2 wires coming out of it, so I cut them, and spliced them. Lucky me, that was it!!! The car is back up and running!
So, for others that might have this problem….
First, if I can fix it anybody can! The neutral safety switch on this car is waaay up on the clutch. There’s actually two little gizmos that look the same, but the safety gizmo is the one above the other gizmo. Mine had a blue wire and a black wire. There’s very little room to work, and it helps to pull the fuse box out first as much as possible.
For someone who is more mechanically inclined then me it should take all of 20 to 30 minutes to fix. I will not even go into how long it took me….

Thanks again! Now on to that pesky ABS light….