Originally Posted by Tark
Indian man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to India on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
i've heard that same joke only with Italian instead of Indian :chuckles:
now it is my turn.... LONG joke but funny
back in the day, a rich man was ready to marry off his daughter. after choosing 3 suiters to contend for her hand, he gave them a mission. each man was to go to market the next day with a duck. whichever man was able to sell the duck for the most money was to win her hand.
the first man goes to market and finds a poor woman. she wanted to buy his duck to feed her children. he sold the duck to her for a nickel and thought to himself "wont he be impressed to know that i made a nickle AND helped a poor woman feed her children"
the 2nd man saw a girl playing in the market. she had found some change that day and liked his duck so he agreed to sell it to her for what she had found, 10 cents total. he thought to himself "wont he be impressed by how well i work with children, ill surely win his daughters hand!"
the 3rd guy had a much better business sense. against the fathers wishes, he didnt go to market to sell his duck. he went instead to the brothel and asked a prostitute how much she would give him for the duck. "ill give you a **** for the duck" so like any man would, he did his duty to her and soon realized that the father would not see the value is this transaction. he told the prostitute that he really needed to have the duck back. she said "ill give you the duck for a ****"
well, while they were busy, the duck snuck out and got stepped on by a horse on the street. the owner of the horse felt guilty and asked the suitor how he could make it up to him. of course, knowing that his marriage was at stake, he demanded $15 and the owner agreed.
the following day, the 3 suitors met with the father.
the first man said "i found a poor woman in the market, i sold her my duck to feed her family and earned 5 cents!"
the father was impressed.
the 2nd man said "well thats nothing, a young child in the market wanted my duck for a pet, and i sold it to her for 10 cents!"
the 3rd man only chuckled and the other men looked at him, puzzled. he said "i got a fukk for the duck and the duck for a fukk and 15 bucks for a fukked up duck" :fawk: