Does it act like its "flooding"? If it does. and since your saying it happen when its hot outside. I am saying its the relay.
The relay gets old and the ponts inside warp in the heat. after a few mins (about 10-15 mins) they make contact and the car will start. I am still looking for some pics of hte relay to post so you know what I am talking about.
With you useing the starter fluid, you are in a sence by passing the relay. The relay is what rund the fule pump. If the relay is not working, then there is not any fule being pumped to the engin. But when you use the started fluid. the car is burning it, instead of the fule and it will start. (hope that make sence)
I hate to tell anyone to take their car to the dealer, but in this case I don't know any shops in your area and it is hard to explain where the relay is on the internet. Again, let me see if I can find some pics or diagrams.