Seriously, in reality this is what it's like:

Oil Change For A Woman:
1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when her Husband tells her she's 10,000 miles past the oil change interval.
2) Wait one and a half hours because there's 43 other soccer moms in line waiting.
3) Pay $30.00 and leave.

Oil Change for me:
1) Go to Kragens 2 minutes away and buy $20 worth of oil and $5 filter, because you're at 3001 miles since your last change.
2) Jack car up with jack stand which is 2 feet away from the car in the garage.
3) Remove oil plug in 0.2 minutes, drain oil in 5 minutes.
4) Remove oil filter in 1 minute.
5) Replace in 0.5 minutes.
6) Refill oil, lower car, shut garage door.

Cost: $25
Time: 30 minutes including the trip and adding the oil to your 5 gallon bucket and taking it back to Kragens for disposal.