Fair enough... so what do I have to do in order to be considered "good for it"?

Perhaps I could relate stories about my 9 1/2 year love affair with my GSR? The story about how, after I changed the rear brake pads, I ended up cracking the rubber boot and rusting the wheel cylinder and piston, eventually forcing me to replace the entire unit... or the fact that I'm still running the original front brake pads after 115K miles, and there is life left in them yet... or how my ABS light comes on from time to time, but when I shut off and restart the engine, it goes out and stays out... or how I've got noisy vibration in the exhaust system at around 3200 rpm... or about how my GSR was included in the "vibrating A pipe" recall... Or perhaps I could discuss the 31 mpg I have experienced the entire life of the vehicle... or maybe the fact that the damn driver's seat is incomfortable because it's not symetrical, and I have fairly wide hips so my right hip bumps the internal frame of the seat... sigh.

But, basically, all it should take is some common sense... if I wanted to jack somebody else's car, I wouldn't give a shit about breaking anything. I'm asking for advice about opening the hood on my car -- in a way that won't break anything!!! And, as I stated, the cable works properly, so obviously I have access to the hood release.

IMO you're just being paranoid, or trying to find some way to belittle a noob.

I hope I'm wrong, but there it is.