Man what a long friday. Had a small get together at my place. Everything was fine and dandy when everyone left at 2 in the morning. So, my roommate is passed out on the living room floor, wasted off his ass. So, being the nice guy I am, I somehow manage to lift him onto the couch and put his head on a pillow and put a blanket over him. 30 seconds later, he starts vomiting all over, uncontrollably. I'm pretty sure that me moving him triggered it, but he would have done it eventually. I'm yelling at him to go to the bathroom but its like he can't even hear me. So in a frantic rush, I grab the biggest mixing bowl we've got and run my ass over to him and put in under his head. In the next 5 minutes, he fills up 3/4 of it with vomit, while he's got his hands and the couch covered in it. So its just me and him, at 3 am, he's covered in his own filth and I have a severe vomit phobia. So I grab a bunch of towels and just clean up what I can, dry heaving basically the entire time, and cover the rest of it with towels so that he can deal with it when he's sober. He's still completely out of it so I end up staying up all night making sure he doesn't vomit in his sleep and choke on it and die.

So now its 8:30 am I can't even get to sleep.


I swear to god this ****er is never drinking alcohol again