This is a really tough choice, and you have my sympathies, John.

If renting your house out in NorCal isn't making enough money, then I'd seriously look at relocating back to California, where the job market is better, and bring your daughter along with you. And while a move to Cali would be hard on her to have to re-establish her friendships, to defer a move until she's 16 or older would, IMO be much more traumatic.

To put this in perspective, in 1985, when the architectural firm my dad worked for hit the skids, we packed up and moved down to Marin County when I was the same age your daughter is now. And looking back, had we deferred that move until I was through High School would have been hellish.

Ultimately, it's clear you want to be with your daughter and play a strong role in her life - and I commend you for that to no end. But if the job market is crapped out, why not move to greener pastures, with your daughter by your side? :dunno:

So that's my 2¥. I hope this helps in some way. :happysad:
-David