"There's more to life than being really really really ridiculously good looking."

"....I was always more interested in, uh.....what bark was made out of on a tree"

"Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn't mean that we too can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident."

"Sting, Sting is a hero of mine, I don't really listen to his music but the fact that he makes it. I admire that."

edit: "I bet you didn't know how good of a eugooglizer I was.....A Eugooglizer, one who speaks at funerals. Or did you think I was too stupid to know what a eugoogly was?"