Tommy: "M&M's have a thin candy shell. I'm suprised you didn't know that, Richard."
Richard: "Your brain has a thin candy shell :squint:"
Tommy: "No...YOUR...brain...has a thin...candy shell."
Richard: "What was that?"
Tommy: "Nothing."


Harry: Skis huh?
Lady: That's right.
Harry: Great. They yours?
Lady: Uh huh.
Harry: Both of them?


Harry: What's her last name? I'll look it up.
Lloyd: Ahh, you know I don't really recall. Starts with an S.
Harry: Maybe it's on the briefcase, look on the--.
Lloyd: Oh yeah! It's right here, Sampsonite! I was way off! I knew it started with an S though!


Narrator: On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.


Narrator: Tyler sold his soap to department stores at $20 a bar. Lord knows what they charged. It was beautiful. We were selling rich women their own fat asses back to them.

Samir: WHY DOES IT SAY PAPER JAM WHEN THERE IS NO PAPER JAM? I SWEAR TO GOD, ONE OF THESE DAYS I-I-I JUST KICK THIS PIECE OF SHIT OUT THE WINDOW!


Michael: I told those fudge packers that I liked Michael Bolton's music.


Samir: Why don't you go by Mike, instead of Michael?
Michael: No way, he's the one who sucks!

Narrator: Tyler, you are by far the most interesting single-serving friend I've ever met... see I have this thing: everything on a plane is single-serving...
Tyler Durden: Oh I get it, it's very clever.
Narrator: Thank you.
Tyler Durden: How's that working out for you?
Narrator: What?
Tyler Durden: Being clever.
Narrator: Great.
Tyler Durden: Keep it up then... Right up.


Just a few...