You're depressed, we all can see that, but killing yourself is not the end. What about your family? How would they feel when you're gone? You're depressed, you need to talk to a professional. Look at me, I've been on the waiting list for 4 years for a kidney. I'm currently on dialysis and live with sickeing side affects, cramps, vomiting, weak, dizziness to name a few. BUT I'm glad the medications and the machine are available to keep me alive. I'm glad I'm with my family. Suicide is the last thing I want to do. Sometimes you gotta put yourself in other people's shoes to get the reality check. But if you ever decide to sucide, I could always use a healthy kidney. It sounds pathetic but I'm serious, but I hope you stay with us and try to enjoy what life gives you.
Good luck.