Everyday I think about death I get more and more scared. I really, really, really don't want to die. Sometimes I get so scared, depressed, and upset that I hit the wall with both of my hands really hard and just keep doing it until my they start to hurt.

I guess that I am trying to seek pity from others. Also I think that if I keep thinking about it, it won't happen, or someone will tell me that it won't happen and it won't.