Man, that SUCKS! Why on earth did he do that?

Here's another one of my patented "I can see it now"s:

Before internet you: Hello mother, father, I am off to a day at school where I plan to be a stock market analyst and life-saving doctor.

After internet you: Foshizzle my nizzle, I'm on my ways to skool, to get my LEARN on. Why come I gots to goes?