Hand car wash is always better than an automatic car wash. If you must rely on car washes, plan on spending time/money to buff out those swirl marks and other stuff. Also, make sure you go to a good place that details well. You will know how reputable one is by looking at the type of cars that work on. (ie. Where I live, there's this one place that does alot of dealership cars.) If you can, watch how they care for cars. (I went to this one place who did great work for less but, they changed management and sacrificied quality. Needless to say, I don't go there anymore.)
I admit it... During winter, I do end up bringing my ride to a detail shop. There's a couple nice ones around here. Perhaps, you'll find some.