Last night my girl and i are sitting on the couch when the dog psychos out at something in the back yard.

Thinking nothing of it, (there is a family of squirrels that lives back there), we ignored it. Five mins later, however, i need to go cycle the cars. I had meant to clean the garage and my buddies car was on the road.

I went out there and start pushing his car in when 3 teenagers come bounding down my neighbors driveway. Now this guy is 70 and retired so right away i know they dont belong. When they see me they cross the yard and come up to me:

"Hey, we're looking for a jeep grand cherokee that stays on the north side of (this street)."

(pushing a car by myself)
"Um, that's great, im kinda busy"

"GREAT? WHAT THE FAWK DO YOU MEAN THATS GREAT? FAWK YOU BITCH!!!!"

and they started trying to push the car back out in the road. Me against three of them i was able to keep it in the driveway, but i couldnt get it rolling again. One of them felt bad and helped me push it back up.

When we get done i go down to get my other cars and i turn to one of them and said, "Look, i appreciate the help, but had you not helped id be calling the cops right now. Finish up what you're doing and head on out of here"

at that point they completely freaked out, they started swearing at me, threatening like they were gonna fight, calling me a snithc, etc. enough of that bs, i took my girls car down the street and got the plate numbers off the car they were OBVIOUSLY with, and took her car back into the driveway.

After i did this they came running back into my yard and mooned me; walking down the street pointing at their assholes.

Enough of this shit! i got my cell and called the cops. I told them they were looking for some kid in a cherokee and they were obviously drunk, gave em make and model and license plate number and a nice lady cop came out in about 30 mins to take my story.

Anyway, she takes my story and wanders off, she tells me shell give them $300 disorderly conduct tickets if she catches em all together, though my description of the four wasnt that great, and she only had the info on the driver whom i didnt see at all.

she calls me about 30 mins later, "Hi, Mr. Thompson?"

"Yeah?"

"Um, well, i went to their house and it was strange because when i got there there were already 3 squad cars in their driveway."

"what? weird!"

"yeah, well it turns out after your house they went up and were harassing an off duty cop on the 1300 block of your street"

(that is a mcdonalds where all the cops go after their shift to keep the peace, as it gets a little rowdy there if they dont)

"So anyway, we took the driver in for drunk driving, he is spending the night in jail, and the other three were issued citations for disorderly conduct, just wanted to let you know"

And that is how a couple of beers gets you sofa king owned