1. i can't hold a stable relationship, as i have trouble realizing when what i have is a good thing. i'm always looking for the next girl. i've never cheated on a girl, even though i tend to be the guy girls get paranoid about. i have high standards. i require top quality looks and an excellent personality (rare combination, but they exist) and have never settled for one or the other. i fear commitment because i love my freedom, and have missed out on a couple excellent girls because of it. i don't get jealous, but sometimes girls mistake my trust for indifference. lately i've started to slow down and make things work, and it's a different yet equally satisfying feeling.

2. not learning how to manage money before last year is the reason i've spent the last 3 years working instead of being in school. it's probably been the least productive and difficult time of my life, but lately has proven to be the most valuable in giving me a real grip on reality. i'm heading back to boston university fall '03 and i've never been so excited to get back into a real future.

3. i had a serious drug problem for a couple years. no amount of being told to stop, problems with money, jobs/family/friends being affected did anything to change my mind about it. one day, i woke up and just decided i didn't want to feel the way i did the morning after ever again. since that day 2 months ago, i haven't touched anything (i still drink...i am 21 ) and i don't have any desire to go back ever again. i don't remember any time before now i've felt this good about myself.

all these things go together i suppose...it's turning out that all the things i thought were bad about myself are ending up making me a much better person than i was before.

and i just had to use this...i love it --> :boink: