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Halloween joke
A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he hears:
BUMP... BUMP.. BUMP... Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him. BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him... FASTER... FASTER... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping... clappity-BUMP... clappity-BUMP... clappity-BUMP... ...on his heels, the terrified man runs. Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps. With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping toward him. The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup! Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket... and... (wait for it) The coffin stops. |
:shake:
great buildup - terrible close |
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:lmao:
awful, but i laughed. :chuckles: |
LOL........weak joke but for some reason I :chuckles:
5/10 |
Originally Posted by reno96teg
(Post 3684780)
:lmao:
awful, but i laughed. :chuckles: :chuckles: |
it got a chuckle out of me :chuckles:
6/10 |
What a terrible joke but I too :chuckles:
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i liked it :o
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That was horrid. Too long and not that great of a punch line
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:lmao: 7/10
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:chuckles:
but take the (wait for it) out. |
oh that sucked
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here try this one :
A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies: "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you." She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive." "Well, I've always had a fantasy to be kissed by a nun." She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic." The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!" "OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley." The nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. "My dear child," says the nun, "why are you crying?" "Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, my name is Moishe, I'm Jewish, and I'm married." The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party." |
7/10 for the racist
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Originally Posted by rebeld
(Post 3685125)
here try this one :
A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies: "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you." She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive." "Well, I've always had a fantasy to be kissed by a nun." She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic." The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!" "OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley." The nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. "My dear child," says the nun, "why are you crying?" "Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, my name is Moishe, I'm Jewish, and I'm married." The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party." |
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