When me and Jasmine got engaged we sat down with her parents to come up with who's paying for what and so forth. After negotiations we came up with that Jasmine and I will pay for everything except for the Catering and Reception Venue and that depending on the location, the ceremony as well. We were fine with that as there was over 22 months of saving time ahead of us. Because of the negotiations we were able to splurge a little bit more with the vendors we chose. We checked out a few places and we all settled on a local vendor because the pricing was below what Jasmines parents were expecting and we liked the venue. Most places were $80+pp and we were able to get $69.50 all inclusive meaning 5 hour top shelf open bar, ice sculptures, and what not.

Since those negotiations several things happened. Jas's parents moved into a new house and her mom also decided to quit her job. She quit because she worked for the city and moved outside the city and feared that if she was caught she'd lose her job. I understand where she was coming from but I feel execution was extremely lacking.

Fast forward to 1 week ago. We reached our 6 month mark and had to make the final deposit amount to P&P; so Jas spoke to her parents and reminded them that the final deposit amount was due soon. Her parents didn't have the money and asked her if she could cover it, which she did since she had the money. I asked her was her parents going to reimburse her the $600 which she replied no. Personally I would've added a stipluation in there that they would have to pay me back but that's because i'm cheap haha.

What worried me was the fact that they didn't have the money. So Jasmine went back over her parents house this weekend and sat down with them to discuss there end of the deal. She told them how much they owed and when it was due and so forth. Her dad (who is a smart-ass sometimes) quickly replied well I don't know how we are going to get the money since your mother left her job; and that we'll see what we can do up until August, if we can't get the money by then, we'll have to look at a Plan B. Unfortunately I wasn't there so I wasn't able to ask them what there Plan B was.

It irritated me so much when I heard this that I had a hard time getting sleep last night. I strongly feel that her parents are going to attempt to flake on us, or they are going to ask me to help them out which i'm going to politely yet strongly state NO. My main reason for saying No is because we both went into this agreement as adults and we both knew what was expected of us. Just because you made poor decisions up until now doesn't mean that I have to come to your rescue. The way me and Jas have everything setup, i'm pretty much paying for everything except for the Flowers and the Dress and that's only because I was making more money, but in order to even do that I had to get a second part time job. I feel I sacrificed alot to try to make this day perfect for her and her family but mostly for her alone.

So yea, is that unreasonable for me to think this way?

 

well it is YOUR wedding :dunno:

i mean that's bullshit of them to pull when it's their daughter getting married but at the end of the day it's your event so you have to assume shit's going to roll downhill and you're at the bottom in this scenario

 

Wife's parents should be footing a great deal of the bill if you want to be traditional. Husband's family typically overs the rehearsal dinner, drinks at the reception, wedding party flowers and grrom's tux. Wife's parents typically cover the rest (dress, venue, food, hotel, etc.) Wife/Groom typically cover the photo, music, etc.

I don't think you are out of line...if you struck a deal with them awhile ago I would politely bring that up. If they really are hard for money then negotiate but I wouldn't let them flake...also be cause on both argument sides since they will be your in-laws.

 

i don't know if you can really force them to pay that by saying NO

 

City Hall wedding and a phat honeymoon.

Fuck the ceremony and exhorbitant costs associated with it.

 

this

 

That's the problem at this point in the game they knew they had a big $$$ event coming up in over a year. It would be next to impossible for me to even come up with half of what they owe and still have enough to cover what I owe. It all breaks dow to this. I need to have $5,502.42 so let's just say $6000 by the beginning of Oct. I have it budgeted so that it'll be completely possible by the beginning of August. That allowed me to purchase some of the things I've gotten in the past (camera, tv, iPad) and so forth. All her parents owe now is $9500. I even comprimised when it came to the ceremony site, we were originally going to have it in there back yard and we were going to split the cost, but we decided to just have it in a party room at her dads church (My number one stand from the start was I did not want to get married at a church for religious reasons).

I understand where you're coming from to Jesse but I just think it'd be extremely irresponsible for her parents to enter an agreement and back out at the last minute. What irritates me more is the fact that they are going to wait until Aug. to make there decision, which now puts a damper on how much money I spend on my Vegas trip in June and now me and Jas can't go to the opening event for The Wizarding World of Harry Potter in June.

 

WTF??? :rofl:

srslyh:

 

John, honestly I was saying that since Day 1. But they wanted to have this big wedding.

 

Yeah I had that fight with my now ex.
We ended up having the wedding and reception in her uncles backyard. Kept the guests to 100 so it was all close friends and family. She had a gorgeous dress and the bridesmaids all had nice dresses as well. The flower arrangements were done by family except the boquet. Wedding cake was by my best friends mother who is a professional baker.

The ex wanted a big church wedding and the whole nine but I was dead set against it. I just didn't see the point of starting out a new life together by jumping deep into debt the way she wanted to.