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Its not as bad as it seems since 99% of the time you dont have to be worried about the shock pulling down on that nut since the car is always acting against it. but you should get them back on as soon as you can.
No, the top hat is the entire conglomeration of parts that sits on the top of the spring, holding it and the shock together.
The part you want is just called "washer"
yeah, any slightly thick washer will work fine
the honda one is curved slightly at the edges to hold the bushing...but you dont need a special one, no
actually I think its just curved by hondas stamping process. Even on a stock car the curve goes up so its not really holding the bushing. who knows heh but yeah any old washer will do the trick.