You Might Be A Ricer If…

[JimCarryFanz]

This maybe a repost Live with it. You have more exhaust decibels than your engine has horsepower. You have aftermarket FRONT wheels for racing but stock rear wheels. Your engine makes twice as much horsepower as torque. You ever painted your wheels to match the same color of your car. You put your automatic car in neutral at every stoplight in order to roll it back and try to fool other people into thinking you have a manual transmission DuPont gave up trying to figure out the shade you were asking for. Your mod list includes stereo equipment, shifter handle, MOMO steering wheel, PIA driving lights, exhaust tip, but no REAL engine parts. A chameleon lizard undergoes fewer shade changes than your custom paint scheme. Your rims and tires are so large, that you have to install the tire / wheel from underneath the car because it simply won't fit in the wheel well going in from the side. The dealer laughs when you bring your car back in for service under warranty, and you've only had it 6 months... Your tires / rims stick out from the lip of your car by more than 1". Your paint job is from the WRONG end of the color spectrum. You installed spacers on your STOCK wheels and tires to get them to stick out past the fender. You see cars like yours in a Shriner's Parade for Children and clowns are driving them. You bring an empty Maxwell House coffee can with you to compare size when you shop for an aftermarket exhaust system. Your Eclipse GS-T hardtop has a "SPYDER" emblem on the rear... Your sum knowledge of suspension is: "the more negative camber, the better the handling." You push your car through the staging lanes. That way, maybe you can break into the 16s by keeping the motor cool between runs. You add a super tall rear wing, and a hundred pounds of aftermarket ground effects, neon and stereo yet you gut the interior and yank out the rear seat for weight savings. Your rear wing AND your rear window have a third mount brake light... The back lighting in the gauges in your A-pillar gauge pod work long before the actual gauges are hooked up. You cut 4 coil springs and scrape the chassis on the ground. Sparks are cool when you corner at normal traffic speeds! You have to find a way to drive AROUND speed bumps in a parking lot. You install clear corner and brake lights. You install colored bulbs in your aftermarket clear lenses. You ever put neon on the bottom of your car, and then busted it on the first speed bump you went over. You painted the UNDERBODY of your car to match If your rear spoiler is taller then you are. if you can fit fist **** your exhaust tip You have more stereo WATTS than engine TORQUE! If your tailpipe extension is the most expensive mod you’ve done to your engine yet. Your tailpipe extension fell off during a quarter mile race and you went three tenths of a second faster due to weight savings. EVERY car in your class has a turbo pushing double digits worth of boost. You spent $5,000 on the engine and you can not out run a stock Camaro, Firebird, or Mustang You want the 'wastegate' sound, but don't want to install a turbocharger system. You think Nitrous Oxide on your Hyundai Sonata puts you in the same performance league as the Chevy Corvette. The automatic version of your car runs 2 seconds slower in the 1/4mile. If the 1970 Plymouth Daytona Superbird has a smaller spoiler than your car does. You think the Del Sol is a sports car... A torque converter does NOTHING for your car. You think a deep farty noise = the sound of high performance If you think that horsepower is far more important than torque If you have ever claimed that switching to a cone filter has given you more than 5 HP. If you have ever considered installing more than one set of fog / driving lights. If you claim that the aftermarket cold air intake system you just installed doubled your horsepower or took 2 or more seconds off of your E/T. Your baseball cap is always on backwards when you drive (the first sign of mental retardation, wearing your clothes backwards... BE). You spent all night on the Internet trying to find a company that makes a turbocharger system for your Hyundai... If you removed your side view mirrors and put them at the TOP of the door / window frame. If you think the Fugees are 'speed' music. MOMO is 'absolutely required' to go fast. Your four cylinder has a dual exhaust system installed. Your four cylinder has four exhaust pipes ("Hey, one for each cylinder!") The color of your interior upholstery hurts the cones and rods in other people's eyes. If you cannot drive your car in snow as the ground effects create a plow effect. If you have installed driving lights to compensate for headlight blackouts / tape. If you think that 180 horsepower and 185 lb/ft of torque are impressive for a ‘mildly’ modified engine. If you have stickers on your car for parts that you could not point out if asked where those parts are installed. You think pushrods are a bad thing… Your car has more decals than you do the quarter in seconds. Every Honda you EVER owned, all the way back to your 1978 Accord was either a V-Tec or a TYPE-R. You took your rear seat out and gutted your interior for weight savings but you installed 400 pounds of electronics, neon, DVD, Sony, etc. If you gutted the interior to save weight on a car that you will never take to the track… You lean your seat so far back when you are driving, that everytime you hit a bump, its your back and not your butt that hurts. You have hydraulics and sixteen switches on a car you claim runs low 10s on the street and corners better than a Porsche. If you can estimate that your car makes more than 250 HP without ever running it at the track or getting a dyno reading. You claim that you can get a titanium block for your engine. If you have ever thought Hyundai and "performance" went hand in hand If you've ever gone to a parts shop or speed warehouse and asked for a 1" to 6" exhaust adapter... If you've ever contemplated adding "TYPE-R" stickers to your Sonata… If you've removed more than 1/2 of the coils from your springs by cutting them yourself ... If you have more neon lights on your car than a strip club... You put Kanji on your Ford ZX2, Ford Probe, or Mercury Cougar ... You own a "TYPE-R" Hyundai or Mazda. You couldn't afford headlight masking, so you just painted them with flat black Krylon and it's peeling. Badly. You claim that polishing your intake gave you 5hp. You own a V-TEC Hyundai or Mazda (especially a V-TEC rotary engined Mazda RX-7) You have neon INSIDE your car or in your ENGINE compartment You ever claimed that high gas mileage made your car superior in performance to V8s. If it takes you 8000rpm to reach 30mph from a dead stop at WOT. You think yellow plastic interior trim makes your car cool You spend $500 for a giant hand welded tube for a muffler with the weld marks extremely visible If you paint your drum brakes to simulate Hi-po calipers If you install fake hi-po caliper / disc simulators You have a front wing. If you lower your car and add ground effects but retain the stock 14inch wheels with disc style wheel covers If you equate the sound of performance with the sound of a Weed Eater™ If you think bolting a fake muffler to one side to simulate dual exhaust is cool If you think colored head lights work better Clear tail lights and turn signals. They’re colored for a REASON! If you take mom's 4 door Honda accord and do any kind of mod to it You drive a Ford Escort station wagon with Kanji, wide tires, and Limp Bizkit stickers on the rear hatch You claim you lost the race because you had a passenger in the car. You claim how if you went from a roll you would have beat him. You claim you lost because you missed a shift... and your car is an automatic. You claim you lost because he must have been on the juice.. Flying past the person who is 10 car lengths in front of you after they have put on their brakes.. and claim a victory. after losing you flip your opponent off... rev your motor and fail to break the wheels loose even around a corner. Tell everyone about how you lost the cop because of your "driving skills". you are a white kid driving an import.. wear baggy pants/hat turned around, walk with a fake limp and end every sentence with "yew know wha I'm sayin? Relate." Your idea of aiming a handgun is raising your arm over your head, pointing the gun away from you, and then just letting your wrist fall to the side to where the gun is almost sideways ... drive around in a $20,000 import with $10,000 in mods.. and still live with your parents. You can relate to every line of the song "Pretty Fly For A White Guy" by the Offspring you take offense when I say.. "your sister is like your car.. small, tight and relatively easy to get into." … And the Number One reason you might be a ricer if... (drum roll)....you are a skinny, backwards hat wearing, dog chain wallet, 2 ft wide pants leg, Limp Bizkit looking ****** with a badly applied peroxide hair color treatment!

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[Tirod]

[SoSoDef24]

....If you're me....

[BonzoAPD]

I don't agree with this one because some people like myself don't do engine mods until the warranty is up or are just not big into modding the engine but like to improve the looks of the car. That is not rice.

Your mod list includes stereo equipment, shifter handle, MOMO steering wheel, PIA driving lights, exhaust tip, but no REAL engine parts.

[SoSoDef24]

to put it more simple :

if you try to race with an automatic
if you do a lot of body mods, and then claim your car is fast
if you know nothing about cars, and claim to
you're 1994 eclipse is a type r vtec

and...

if you own a daewoo leganza that has painted hubcaps, cheap exhaust, and lots of stickers.

that's all you had to list.

[sxecrow]

Originally posted by JimCarryFanz
You think the Del Sol is a sports car...

Hey Hey Hey!!! It's just another 5h Gen Civic and when I get exhaust, it'll spank prolly anything you throw at her.

[DB7 2.0]

you spelled Jim Carey wrong

[JimCarryFanz]

Originally posted by DB7 2.0
you spelled Jim Carey wrong

Who said I was going for the rite spelling?

*edit*
BTW, it's "jim carrey"

[Jessica]

not reading that, too long

[kento]

[Derek]

some long grain white rice sounds good right now

[sxecrow]

Originally posted by DB7 2.0
you spelled Jim Carey wrong

so did you.

[DB7 2.0]

Originally posted by sxecrow
so did you.

[spanky]

:jun2003:

[flipped cracker]

having an automatic isn't rice.

and "Your car has more decals than you do the quarter in seconds." is wrong too. i'd rather have more stickers than seconds.

alot of those repeated and were wrong.

[spanky]

Originally posted by JimCarryFanz
Your car has more decals than you do the quarter in seconds.

top fuel dragsters are rice

[Snoopy]

cliffnotes?

[ambition]

You have more stereo WATTS than engine TORQUE!

^damn. before my system got jacked that was me.... and preety much every other person that has/had a small system in their cars.

[cobbcustomz]

Originally posted by ambition
You have more stereo WATTS than engine TORQUE!

^damn. before my system got jacked that was me.... and preety much every other person that has/had a small system in their cars.

obviously having any kind of upgrade in stereo equipment is rice

[MrFatbooty]

Wow I'm not sure who wins my worst noob award, there are so many of you idiots in this thread to choose from.

Originally posted by Morpheus
Pushrods are a bad thing compared to even a SOHC 4 valves per cylinder. Pushrods are the worst valvetrain.

You have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.

A pushrod motor has a cam spinning in a housing separate from the cylinder head and the valves are actuated by pushrods attatched to rockers which are moved by the cam.

An overhead cam motor has cam(s) inside the cylinder head directly acting on the valves through rockers. Having overhead cams does not mean that a motor has 4 valves per cylinder. Theoretically you can have a DOHC motor with 2 valves per cylinder, not to say that any company actually makes one because it would be more complexity than necessary.

There's nothing wrong with pushrods, it just happens to be that GM is the major purveyor of pushrod motors. A Ford Mustang Cobra has DOHC 4 valve per-cylinder heads and its powerband isn't a whole lot different than a chevy smallblock with pushrod actuated valves.

Besides--a Z06 does just fine making 405 hp with its supposedly inferior pushrods. 405 hp is 405 hp, it doesn't matter how the valves are open.

So basically, shut the fuck up.

[wushu_civic]

Originally posted by MrFatBooty
Wow I'm not sure who wins my worst noob award, there are so many of you idiots in this thread to choose from.

You have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.

A pushrod motor has a cam spinning in a housing separate from the cylinder head and the valves are actuated by pushrods attatched to rockers which are moved by the cam.

An overhead cam motor has cam(s) inside the cylinder head directly acting on the valves through rockers. Having overhead cams does not mean that a motor has 4 valves per cylinder. Theoretically you can have a DOHC motor with 2 valves per cylinder, not to say that any company actually makes one because it would be more complexity than necessary.

There's nothing wrong with pushrods, it just happens to be that GM is the major purveyor of pushrod motors. A Ford Mustang Cobra has DOHC 4 valve per-cylinder heads and its powerband isn't a whole lot different than a chevy smallblock with pushrod actuated valves.

Besides--a Z06 does just fine making 405 hp with its supposedly inferior pushrods. 405 hp is 405 hp, it doesn't matter how the valves are open.

So basically, shut the fuck up.

cough cough...

[azn_redneck]

Wazz wrong with pushrods? My engine may take 345 cubic inches to do it, but 345hp/375trq ain't bad. The down side that the 345hp has to move a 5,000 pound truck. It's still pretty damn fast though.

[b00gers]

Originally posted by ambition
You have more stereo WATTS than engine TORQUE!

^damn. before my system got jacked that was me.... and preety much every other person that has/had a small system in their cars.

i was going to point that out also. try and point out a few cars on the street with more than 1200 lbs of torque. and my system was only "mild."

[MrFatbooty]

Originally posted by JimCarryFanz
What? Do you think I give a F0ck about what you think?
Get a life you focking fat asshole.

BTW, it's from other forum. "I said might be a repost"..
oh wait, you are so focking retarded, you don't even get it do ya?
Do you get it? "It's a Joke"!?

oh~~LOOK AT ME~~~ I"M A M-O-D-E-R-A-T-O-R..fear me~~
~~I'm a focking homo shitass.~~woo~
~~ I have a avata of a bitch touching a nut sack...woo~I'm funny~~ FOCKING PATHETIC!
FUUUUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!
So, Shut da FOCK UP and eat your GODAMN CHEESE you FOCKING IDIOT!

btw, I love you all :hug:

Hey retard, read the fucking post and you'll realize it wasn't even directed at you. Shut the fuck up. You're not even remotely funny.

[Dekz]

Originally posted by JimCarryFanz

You put Kanji on your Ford ZX2, Ford Probe, or Mercury Cougar ...

Wtf is Kanji?

[Deludedteg]

Your rear wing AND your rear window have a third mount brake light...

How is this rice? My car has the third brake light and the brake light in the spoiler and both are stock(Although it's possible that the wing could have been an after thought though since I bought my teg used ). I don't like the way it looks but I would certainly not consider it rice. As soon as I can get something to cover up the hole that it will leave, I'm taking my third brake light out.

Wtf is Kanji?

Japanese writing.

[MrFatbooty]

Take the bulb out of the interior third brake light.

[Deludedteg]

Originally posted by MrFatBooty
Take the bulb out of the interior third brake light.

Yeah but I still have a big chunk of useless plastic there. Just gotta fabricate something that will fit in the hole that it leaves.

[wushu_civic]

Originally posted by MrFatBooty
Hey retard, read the fucking post and you'll realize it wasn't even directed at you. Shut the fuck up. You're not even remotely funny.

haha fatbooty owns again hahaha

[19.3secS2K]

Originally posted by BonzoAPD
I don't agree with this one because some people like myself don't do engine mods until the warranty is up or are just not big into modding the engine but like to improve the looks of the car. That is not rice.

Your mod list includes stereo equipment, shifter handle, MOMO steering wheel, PIA driving lights, exhaust tip, but no REAL engine parts.

100%

or some of us are stuck with 1.6l nonvtec engines that put out 100hp